We’ve all wanted to do it, but I’d never actually seen it done until Wednesday.
I’m still a little giddy about it to be honest.
In the middle of the first game of a basketball double header I was covering for my newspaper, a fan sitting behind the press table had words with one of the officials.
It wasn’t over the top, or vulgar or even loud, but the referee was standing close enough to hear it and close enough to respond in a way that didn’t draw a lot of attention to the conversation.
Fan: “Call it both ways, ref.”
Referee: (Pulling an extra whistle from his pocket and offering it to the fan) “I am, but if you want to give this a try, come on out here.”
Classic.
If you have a job, there’s a good chance someone out there believes he or she could perform your job better than you given the opportunity. They believe that, despite the fact they have no training in your chosen profession.
Few will even take the time to actually try and understand what you do on a daily basis, but that doesn’t stop the criticism or “how hard could it be?” comments.
After witnessing the referee putting the fan in his place on Wednesday, it made me think of some of the professions that take constant heat from people who have neither the guts nor the training to do a particular job — along with some possible responses.
Teachers
Parent: You need to cut Johnny some slack in English class and pass him so he can keep playing football. He’s a great athlete, and his coaches say he doesn’t know the meaning of the word “quit.”
Teacher: Johnny doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words, because he comes to class each day full of attitude and minus his homework. Perhaps he should concentrate a little more on his studies so he doesn’t end up being a 6-6, 300-pound honky-tonk bouncer with a masters degree from the School of Hard Knocks.
Coaches
Parent: I can’t believe you called that play in that situation. If you had thrown the ball to my son, we would have scored a touchdown.
Coach: If we had thrown the ball to your son, it would have been an incomplete pass since your son is sitting on the bench pouting after dropping the last pass we attempted to throw to him. I love your son, but he couldn’t catch a cold in a classroom full of snotty-nosed kindergartners, so he’s moving to the offensive line next season.
Retail workers
Customer: I don’t know how you live with yourself charging what you charge for this. I know I can get it cheaper at that other place.
Worker: If you know it’s cheaper somewhere else, yet you still shop here, you’re either not real bright or you have a crush on me. Since you just told me I’m a bad person — even though I don’t set the prices — I’m going to go with option No. 1.
Police officers
Driver: I didn’t stop all the way at the stop sign, but I slowed down. What’s the difference?
Officer: (Adding more charges to the original one) Would you like for me to quit writing tickets, or just slow down a little?
Newspaper columnists
Reader: I can’t believe your bosses let you take up valuable space in the newspaper each Sunday with your mindless drivel. I’ve got half a mind to quit reading your newspaper altogether and just get my news from Google.
Columnist: I told my boss what you said, and he wants to give you a job. He said if you’ve got half a mind, you’re well on your way to being a newspaper columnist.
That one hurt a little, but there’s not much I can do about it.
I’m too old to go back to being a honky-tonk bouncer.
— Jack Stallard is a Kilgore resident and sports editor of the News-Journal. Email: jstallard@news-journal.com; follow on Twitter @lnjsports
