Two HS football players lean on each other after both lost a parent in span of 24 hours

When Owen Sego says his father never missed a sporting event of his in his life, it is not an exaggeration. Football, wrestling, track, whatever else, Neil Sego was always there. If you did not see Neil, you could hear him.

“He was the one who knew everybody’s name on the team,” Owen said.

The night of Oct. 4 was different in a way Owen could have never imagined — and no 17-year-old should. At Indian Creek (Trafalgar, Indiana) High School's senior night, a game that should have been filled with smiles and celebration, Owen ran for 107 yards and two touchdowns in a blowout 57-8 win over Manual.

It was the first game Neil missed. The day before, he was one of five people who died in a single-engine plane crash north of Lansing, Michigan.

“I looked up in the crowd like 30 times to see if he was there,” Owen said. “It felt so different. I could always hear him from the stands. He was literally everything to me. My mentor, my coach, my dad. Everything I know is from him.”

Owen was not planning to play in that game. He was with his family in Lansing. He told friends he was not going to play. “My family was talking and said they would like to see me out there,” Owen said. “So I thought, ‘What would my dad want me to do?’ He would want me to be strong and go out and play.”

Another tragedy

On the Segos’ five-hour drive back home, Indian Creek principal Luke Skobel called to alert them that the school — and the football team — had been hit by a second tragedy in 24 hours. Owen’s senior teammate and locker-room neighbor, Avery Whitten, lost his mother, Tamara Whitten, on Friday morning due to heart failure.

Owen called coach Brett Cooper to alert him he planned to play but would be cutting it close to kickoff time. Then he asked to speak with Avery.

“This is less than 24 hours after Owen found out his dad died,” Cooper said. “And he’s empathizing with Avery.”

Avery, a 6-foot-1, 265-pound defensive end, was the only teammate Owen spoke with when he arrived 10 minutes before kickoff. “It kind of helps knowing somebody else is going through what you are going through,” Owen said. “Neither of us expected this.”

The wounds are still fresh. There is no textbook answer on how to deal with tragedy. In this case, tragedy times two. Cooper left it up to Owen and Avery whether they wanted to play that night. There was no right or wrong answer. But there is comfort in normalcy.

“My mom (Connie) is a coach’s wife,” Cooper said. “She said, ‘Sometimes words don’t matter. They just need a hug.’ That resonated pretty thoroughly with those two kids. Nothing we say is necessarily going to help. But the support they feel can.”

Leaning on community

Avery was getting puzzling messages during his business class on Oct. 4. Messages like, “I’m sorry.” Avery, the fourth of eight siblings, started texting his older brothers and worried something had happened to his mother.

“A couple of minutes before the bell, Coach Cooper came in with our assistant athletic director and vice principal and told me what happened,” Avery said.

Avery's 52-year-old mother had died. The most difficult part of the day, Avery said, was seeing his younger sister Charlotte, who turned 9 that day.

“We sat there crying in the office,” Avery said. “I was thinking, ‘She’s never going to have another normal birthday in her life.’”

Tamara was an avid horse trainer and active in the rodeo. Though his parents had divorced, Avery said Friday night football always brought the family together. “I always felt like I had my own cheering bloc,” he said.

Avery said he owes his Indian Creek family a big “thank you” for the support.

“The team honestly is an extension of my family,” he said. “The only reason I played that night and came to school on Monday is because I knew I could find comfort in them and the teachers, counselors and administrators. I don’t think I could keep doing this if not for them.”

Avery knew Neil Sego. Of course. Everybody knew Neil. “He was a big part of this community,” Avery said.

When Owen first heard that his father had been in an accident, he wrongly assumed it had been a motorcycle accident. He did not realize his father was headed out of town on a flight that morning. The initial word was that Neil was in critical condition. Owen and his mother, Nicole, and older brother, Ethan, had barely started out toward Lansing when they received the call that Neil had died.

Almost immediately, Owen felt the love and support from the community. Friends, teammates, classmates and coaches reached out to share stories about Neil and offer support.

“It is so overwhelming,” Owen said. “I really does mean a lot. This is a small school where everybody knows everybody. Anything I need, I’ve got.”

Still, there was an empty feeling on game night. It was not the same without his dad. “I know he was there in spirit,” Owen said. “But it didn’t feel right, either. It felt like he should have been there.”

Avery felt that, too. Just a week before, Tamara had attended a game and told Avery she had fun and planned to be there for senior night. “I told her I was looking forward to it,” Avery said. “When I found out what happened, I just told my family I needed to get out there and play.”

Call Star reporter Kyle Neddenriep at 317-444-6649.